I've been completely obsessed about turning 40 this year.
Ever since turning 30 I’ve found myself staring in the mirror every morning worrying whether I look old for my age. I suppose that this is not surprising given that our culture equates youth with beauty.
People expect me to be formulating the next anti-ageing miracle serum to sell to women who feel insecure about ageing. I'm constantly asked if my products are anti-ageing. But most people don't want to believe me when I tell them that there is no such thing as anti-ageing. No product can turn back time. Not even products that tempt with promises such as "regenerate", "renew", "age-defy", "wrinkle repair", "youth-code".
"70% of us feel pressure from images in the media to look perfect."
Teenage models are forced to wear lots of make-up and then their images are airbrushed. But in reality our skin is affected by hormones, sleep, diet, lifestyle, age and it changes every day.
Looking perfect is impossible. Flawless skin is a myth.
"It’s estimated that fewer than 5% of the population could ever realistically attain the body ideals presented in the media"
The Beauty Illusion
Beauty is designed to be unattainable. It remains just out reach. The models get skinnier and younger and the images get more airbrushed. This is because the beauty industry wants us to feel insecure about our appearance. It needs us to continue to spend money in an attempt to attain their standard of beauty. But this is destroying our self-esteem.
It's not just the media
My parents’ unhealthy obsession with my appearance rubbed off on me. All my life I’ve been carrying around their critical opinion in my head, judging me, inhibiting me, generally making me feel rubbish.
We all have a critical voice in our head. It tells us things like we’re not good enough and it reminds us of our failures and our mistakes. My critical voice likes to say lots of negative things, but particularly focuses on my appearance.
Enough is enough!
Over the last few years I’ve been focusing on getting to know my critical voice. As a Chartered Psychologist I’ve been trying to understand it better, where it stems from and how to release myself from it's claws. I’ve learned how to be self-compassionate and kinder to myself. As a consequence, my self-confidence is higher than ever before and my relationship with myself, and others, just keeps getting better.
I’m excited about having created my own compassionate voice, that I want to share my tips with as many people as soon as possible. I could easily spend a few more months making this mini-ecourse pretty with gorgeous images and formatting. But I want to start sharing this right now. And it won’t cost you bean. If just one person finds it useful, then it’s worth it.
Love Your Look
I continue to write blogs on a variety of themes that challenge your perspective through stories, practical exercises and simple techniques. I've drawn on the theory and practice of psychology, self-compassion, mindfulness, body confidence, and laughter. You’ll learn to discover and nurture a new more confident self.
Sign up to receive these blogs straight into your inbox (at least once a month)
You'll receive 'Love Your Look' emails straight to your inbox covering
My commitment to you